What's The Problem

We all experience different things from day to day. Not one of us can say that we have never faced a problem before. There are different experiences that are negative or positive, and if it is negative, we quickly label it as a problem. We go and talk to our friends about this problem. Sometimes, we end up in a counseling setting because the problem is too big for us to manage. Lately, I have been thinking about the different experiences in my life that I have defined as problems. A lot of them are small situations that really aren't that big of an issue. There are some that are large and really are problems. As I began to look at these different experiences, I began to examine what exactly the problem was. When I did this, I noticed that a lot of it was how I was perceiving the situation. Yes, it may have been a problem, but was my thinking and attitude towards it a problem? I'll admit, there are situations in life that we just can't change or control. When those things are thrown at us, I think that it is important to realize that we do have control over our thoughts and attitudes, and they are two things that we can change. We can control how we are going to react to someone or something. Today, I am going to make a conscious effort to making sure that my attitude and thoughts are not the problem in the situation.

All or Nothing

Lately, I have noticed that I have done a lot of things half hearted. Not only is my schoolwork or the things that I do for work affected by this, but I have noticed that my relationship with God and other people can be effected as well. In church this morning, the pastor talked about whether our relationship with God is really all or nothing. There are moments in life when we can feel really close to Him and think that everything is okay, but the moment that something goes wrong, we are immediately turning away and to something else. My question, then, is, what else is in our lives that we are turning to? What else are we worshipping besides Him? He doesn't call us to worship Him as well as other things. He is a jealous God that does not allow room for any other "gods" in our lives. As I think about it, there are so many different things in my life that serve as a god. One of those things that I turn to is busyness. I fill my schedule up so that I don't have to deal with everything else going on. When I feel like I am busy, I don't feel as bad about the things that are going on around me. This is just one of the many things that I have turned to instead of Him. My challenge today is to think before I turn to these things. Rather than immediately turning to these things, I will choose to turn to Him.

The Storm

As the weather begins to get nicer, the storms begin to emerge. Tonight as I was running, I looked up into the sky and saw the darkest clouds. The wind was blowing and the air was becoming cooler. One of my favorite life analogies is that life is sometimes like a storm. There are times where we don't feel like we have control, or we feel as if the waves are crashing so much that we are not going to make it through to see the sunshine again. When we feel like this, where is our trust? Are we trusting in our own strength to hold us strong throughout the storm? Or, are we relying on God and allowing Him to be our strength through all of this. Tonight during one of my devotions, the passage talked about trusting in God is a better choice than trusting in man. Trusting in man always means trusting in myself. Although I feel as if I can trust myself in more situations than those around me, I know that the ultimate level of trust can be found in God. Today, I am going to turn my trust over to Him rather than relying on my own power. When I feel let down by others or by myself, I can't be mad at myself or them, because I ultimately chose to rely on them rather than Him.

Where Is My Heart?

Usually, I can tell where my heart is based off the things that I am chasing after. If I am locking myself up in my room all day and isolating myself from the people around me in order to work on homework, my heart is chasing after getting good grades. If I find myself constantly hanging out with friends rather spending a little bit of time reflecting on things, my heart is chasing after friendship. But what happens when we allow ourselves to isolate ourselves from everyone and hide away? As I was thinking about this, the answer isn't that my heart is chasing after nothing. Obviously, there is something that my heart is either avoiding or wanting to spend time alone in. When I isolate myself, however, is it doing me any good? Or am I allowing myself to dwell more and more on the things that are keeping me down? And, when I allow myself to do that, am I allowing myself to harden my heart? The state of my heart is not something that should be taken lightly. Honestly, it is something that I should be greatly concerned about and attuned to daily. How do I do this, though? First off, I need to spend time in prayer on a daily basis, asking God to protect my heart. Not just from others, but also from myself. Also, I need to allow him to keep my heart soft. Only He can do this. Instead of allowing my heart to harden and become desensitized, I am going to turn to the one who can help in anything.

My Future, My Past

Last night at church, one of the songs had a line in it that I was fixed on. The line was "reign over my future and my past." As I was listening to this, I began to question, what does it mean for us to allow God to reign over our past? We so many times hear what it means for Him to reign over our future and to give all of our hopes, dreams, fears, and controls over to Him. We so often hear the passage from Jeremiah 29 that tells us that He has a fantastic future that is already planned for us. But what about our past? I think the passage we so often turn to is the one from Psalms that talks about forgetting our sins as far as the east is from the west. My next question was, am I allowing Him to reign over my past? Or, do I still hold onto it as if there is something that I can do to change it? Yes, there are things in our pasts that we would rather run away from and ignore, but is that allowing God to reign over it? The conclusion that I came to is rather simple. In order for God to reign over my past, I must allow Him to use my past. I must allow Him to take everything that I have done, every situation that I have encountered, and use that for my future. I must also hand over guilt and shame to Him and receive grace in its place. The new question is, will we allow Him to continuously reign over our past?

Taking Responsibility

There are times when we have situations where we have no control over what the other person is doing. We see them making a wrong decision, yet we cannot control their behavior. To try and control their behavior would not be allowing the person to have their dignity to be their own person. But, what about the responsibility for myself? I have the choice to make my own decisions and take action. We are all human, and none of us are perfect. So, there are going to be areas that we are going to have to take responsibility for. We cannot say that we are completely innocent and that we are not in the wrong. We can control our own thoughts and how we respond to someone else. Maybe, we responded to the other person in a way that was hurtful or negative. We must be able to take responsibility and ownership of our own actions. Looking back, there are many things that I have done that I need to take ownership of. Rather than trying to shift the blame to someone else or reflect on the pain that someone may have caused me, I am going to focus on the areas that I can grow in so that I can learn from these experiences. Instead of focusing on where someone else has done wrong, I can focus on how to better myself.

Friends

This week, I am really noticing and appreciating the power of friends. This week has been filled with ups and downs, and I don't think that it would have been as productive if I didn't have such wonderful friends. For example, there are times that I don't always want to study. I can also have moments of extreme hyperness and will act like a two year old and climb over the furniture, make weird noises, and stand on chairs. If it weren't for my friends patience and firm reminder of the need to study, I probably would have just given up and not studied at all. Another example: sometimes, advice truly isn't what you need to hear when things aren't going well. I have been blessed with some amazing friends who are wonderful listeners and are great at distracting me. Without these people, I think this week would have felt a lot worse. I understand that the week isn't over, but I know that no matter what, these friends are going to be there for me. We were created as relational beings, so why don't we take advantage of that more? Personally, I am determined to allow myself to be a relational being and be a friend to those who need it. More importantly, I am determined to rely more and more on the one friend who will never leave nor forsake.

When Everything Falls Apart

When life feels chaotic and somewhat out of control, He is the one that can hold us together. By no means am I saying that my life is falling a part. I feel as if that would be over dramatic and unnecessary. There are worse things that could be happening. What I am saying is that through whatever is going on, big or small, He is the one who holds us together. There are so many times where I allow myself not to turn to Him and turn to my own strength instead. Even when things feel as if they are falling apart, He is there to hold us together. Why do we so often turn to things that are not going to help us? Our friends can tell us over and over again what we need to do in certain situations, but nothing they say can compare to the comfort and love that we can experience from Him. Everything may fall apart. Everything may include all of our friends ditching us or turning away from us. How can we constantly rely on other people or the words of other people when His words are the ones that are going to get us through whatever we are going through? I am not saying that people cannot help or speak into us, but I am saying that we sometimes quickly turn to other people rather than turning to God. Other people can mislead us, but He will never mislead us. When things feel as if they are crashing, I want to allow Him to hold me together.

Will I Let Go?

Recently, a certain song has been playing over and over again when I am driving to work. One of the main lines in the song is, "Will I love you enough to let go?". Of course, there is always a reason as to why we hear things over and over. This is something that I have needed to hear. I have had to ask myself if I love Him enough to let go of all of my fears. I have had to ask myself I I love Him enough to let go of my insecurities. Most of the time, my answers are the same. Letting go is not something that is easy. I love to have control of things, and I think most of us feel the same way. Control is our way of making sure that things are safe. It is our way of making sure that we won't get hurt in situations. But is my control more powerful than His? Would this truth allow me to let go? Of course, when it comes to letting go, I have convinced myself that I can do it on my own and that I don't need the help of God or anyone else for that matter. But isn't that just continuing my problem of control and not wanting to let go? Today, my goal is to stop being such a control freak and allow myself to be controlled by the one who created me. It may not be easy, but it may make stress levels a lot more tolerable.

Miracles

So often when we are in the middle of a painful situation, we want to just give up and walk away from it. It can be so easy to want to ignore the pain rather than go through it. Giving up may seem easier, but it is not the answer. The pain is only going to come back to us and we are going to eventually have to go through it. Sometimes, there are things that we are not ready to deal with, and that is okay. We sometimes have to go at our own pace rather than the pace that others expect from us. Expectations from others can be good, but we must realize that it is our own journey and only we can decide what we are going to do. Others can give us input and we can take what we want from them. Ultimately, we need to decide on the timing and how much time we want to invest in ourselves. But what happens when we get to that point and decide that it is not worth it and want to give up? Most likely, we are burnt out and tired. A new day brings a new hope. When we are tired and ready to give up, we may just need to rest. When we rest, we can be energized and ready to go. This may not happen overnight, but we have to allow ourselves to rest sometimes and go at a pace that is comfortable for us. Rather than giving up, we must stay and work so that we can see the miracles unfold within our lives.